Secret Conversation
by Albertrojas
Summary: A conversation between two siblings while Kirei is grafting Archer's arm to Shirou.


It was a bit troublesome, making my way to the church with an unconscious Tohsaka with one arm. Illya was a bit helpful in that regard, seeing as she managed to seal the wound.

The operation to graft my arm on my younger self should have already started, who went ahead with Rider.

I arrived in front of the church and entered, with Illya standing up to look. I lay Tohsaka in the nearest bench, then sat at the bench closest to the altar.

"You're Shirou, aren't you?" Illya asked as she approached me.

"Oh? How can you tell?" I asked with a slight smirk.

She sat down beside me while saying, "You're older and tanned, but It's a bit hard not to notice the resemblance when your hair is down."

"My hair?" I touched my head, only now realizing that it was down the whole time. I laugh a bit.

"So the secret is out huh?" I muttered. "Yes, I'm a possible future self of Shirou Emiya." I confirmed.

"So you became a hero, huh? Good for you." She said.

I slowly shake my head sideways. "Not exactly. I sold my soul to Alaya to do that."

"...A Counter Guardian…" Illya said in realization, "You idiot." She muttered.

"Yes, I was an idiot who wanted to save everyone, and in doing so damned myself to an eternity of torture where my ideal is mocked that I wanted to kill my past self so I can escape it." I laugh wryly. Illya looked at me knowingly.

"The funny thing is, now that I'm dying, I realize that I still want to cling to that ideal."

Illya was silent for a while, then, "Can you tell me about your past?"

I looked at her, then said, "There are some holes in my memory due to a mistake in summoning, but I do remember enough."

"I was saved by Kiritsugu during the Fuyuki Fire, implanting Avalon, as I later found out. The smile he saw back then was..."

I started to talk about my past, the mistake I made while practicing magecraft by turning my nerves into circuits, and my magecraft. I also talked about my version of the war, how I met her. How I knew she was the grail and the year we were together after the war.

"Thinking back about it, when I lost you, it must have been then that I started to doubt in my dream to save everyone."

"Do you regret it?" Illya asked.

"I regret not being strong enough to save you." I answered.

"T-That's not what I-" I groaned in pain, cutting her off.

"A-Are you okay?" She asked.

"..Don't worry. I won't let myself disappear until that door opens." I tried to reassure her.

"Besides, I've been through worse. A damaged spiritual core isn't high on the list."

Illya remained silent for a bit, then said, "I don't want you to disappear."

"...Sorry." I replied.

For a while, there was no sound to be heard in the church.

"What do you think about Onii-chan?" Illya broke the silence with the question.

"...He's going to have to make a choice soon….whether to continue chasing after his ideals or to abandon it for one person." I replied.

"What do you mean?" Illya asked.

Illya pouted a bit while saying, "You're being cryptic again."

I smirked, then turned my head to her with a serious expression.

"If he wants to continue being a hero of justice then that's on him. Though, if he were to abandon it, that would mean turning his back on everything he has believed in so far. Trust me, it's not an easy choice to make for Shirou Emiya."

Illya opened her mouth to say something, but I cut her off by continuing, "But ...if he does choose to turn his back on his ideal then…if he were to do the impossible and survive what is about to come...he'll be able to find his happiness." I smiled sincerely.

"S-Shirou, you're fading." Illya said, tearing up.

"Ah, I guess once I noticed that I lost my connection to my left arm, I stopped delaying the inevitable." I replied.

Illya was shaking, "I-I don't want this!" She exclaimed.

"You'll have to be strong for me. I'm an idiot you see. I need my older sister to help me."

"Please don't leave me…"

"I won't. Not until this is over. My soul will be with you."

Illya hugs me while crying loudly.

"There there." I pat her head with my remaining hand.

"Thank you Illya…For being here with me until the end. Please look out after me." I told her.

"Goodbye Shirou."

I finally disappeared as the door to the operating room opened.

* * *

**I felt like writing this after watching Lost Butterfly.**


End file.
